doozie

I've always had a fondness for bizarre sentences, especially when taken out of context. So, lately when I hear a little doozie I jot it down. I think you will appreciate this sampling from a sunny saturday sitting out on main street and the people of palouse:

-If I could write love letters I would write them to the wolves and horses.
-My dog is going to sit like that someday. Right now he thinks he is a funeral director.
-Oh there's the three legged dog club.
-I'm going to have to take that video off of youtube because my girlfriend thinks you look sexy.
-There should be a National Chalk Day
-Keeping things real here on E. Main?
-This is what Palouse used to be like, ray guns for everyone.
-It's a god damn beautiful day.
-Can I give you a hug and a kiss? Come on! Bring it!
-I'm going to get my care and load it up with garbage.
-I think your mom needs to get off facebook.
-Just drink a couple drinks, cry, and get over it.
-That's why he didn't stick around, because you didn't give it up.
-He just needs to be needed, Doreen.
-Where is that piece of shit? David, I'm down here at the thrift shop sweating my ass off. Where are you? Get your non-artist ass down here.